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The Georgicks of Virgil, with an English Translation and Notes Virgil, John Martyn Ipsi in defossis specubus secura sub alta Otia agunt terra, congestaque robora, Pierius says it is confecto in the Roman manuscript. And Tacitus also says the Germans used to make caves to defend them from the severity of winter, .

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The first fan blamed The second fan blamed The third fan blamed A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final.

He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away. A week before the Champions League final a few years ago there was an ad in a local newspaper which said:. Those interested must send in photo of the tickets. Hours after the end of the world, a border dispute emerged between heaven and hell. God invited the devil for conversations to find a way to resolve this dispute quickly. Satan, the devil, proposed a soccer game between heaven and hell.

God, always fair, told the devil, " The heat must be affecting your brain, the game would be so one sided, don't you know all the 'good' players go to heaven?

10 Hilarious Fantasy Football Jokes

The arresting officer stated that the accused had thrown something into the river. The rivalry between Celtic and Rangers in Scotland is well known. He then proceeded to kick it as hard as he possibly could. He kicked the ball so far, we knew it had to be him.

Football Jokes for Kids | Fun Kids Jokes

Were there any other cases? Not two months ago we had Hatem Ben Arfa in. Same problem again. So Hatem proceeds to put the ball on the floor, and starts juggling it with his feet. He goes on to do a number of tricks, and we knew it absolutely had to be him.

Pardew stops to think for a minute. Chelsea just finished a champions league away game in Barcelona and they were going to a club to celebrate there win. So in the club a girl approaches Gary Cahill and asks him to sign her head and he does. Another girl goes to Terry and asks him to sign her boobs and he does.

Messi is out at a bar, and flirting with a good looking woman. She invites him over to her house, and she goes into the bathroom, telling Messi to get comfortable. She comes back and finds Messi laying in bed with 2 naked men. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer.

I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager. Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra?

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It has a lot of support but no cups. Three old football fans are in a church praying for their teams. A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid. David Beckham has snubbed a move to Paris St.

Football's a funny game but there is a point to the jokes

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. After one day he is not really impressed by the training practices, so he asks Wenger how he gets his players so sharp. Of course Fergie wants an example, so Wenger asks Thierry Henry to come over. Who is he?

Hilarious Football Jokes (and a few groaners)

He calls Ruud van Nistlerooy over. So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives. How do you keep the Baltimore Ravens out of your front yard? Put up goal posts. Why doesn't Toledo have a professional football team? Because then Cleveland would want one. Where do football players dance? At a football. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Cincinnati Bengals. What is the most common phrase used by a former Colorado football player? Would you like fries with that? What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

Give me my quarterback. What is Tom brady's favorite letter?

Our pick of the best funny football jokes!

Sssssssss sound of air leaking from a ball. Why are so many Seattle Seahawks players claiming they have the Swine Flu? So they don't have to touch the pigskin. Why did the football say owwwwww? Because the man kicked him. Did you guys hear about the NFL player who hits women?

No the other one.