Rather than "shutting down" a child's emotions, help your child see that you understand his frustration and it's OK to feel that way -- but that there's a better way to express it. This is a common mistake that parents make, particularly as their kids get older. All parents want to be liked and loved by their kids, and to be thought of as cool is especially desirable to some parents -- so it can be easy to slip into the friend role, rather than the parent role. Sue Hubbard, pediatrician and host of The Kid's Doctor radio show, says that it's critical to remain a parent, especially when it comes to setting boundaries about experimenting with substances.
The rate of alcohol and drug use in teens is climbing, and Hubbard feels that "part of that may be due to the fact that parents want to be their child's friend rather than parent. It is often easier to say yes than no, and parents seem to turn a blind eye at times to the use of alcohol and drugs especially weed in their own homes. The scary part of this: alcohol is the leading cause of death among teenagers. While some parents may feel that the safest place to experiment with substances is in the home, being too permissive about alcohol or drug use can backfire, giving kids the idea that underage drinking is OK as long as it's at home.
Children watch their parents from very young ages, and they know what coming home drunk looks like. Overly permissive parenting can be a concern in other areas, not just the drug and alcohol realm. Finding your way between being an authority figure and being confident can be tricky, but it's an important balance to strike. Being authoritative -- using your years and accumulated knowledge to explain to your children -- is different from being authoritarian , or someone who says "my way or the highway.
With our incredibly busy lives today, family mealtimes can become a casualty. When the kids are young, it's natural to have an early meal for them, and one later for grown-ups. And with teens who tend to snack a lot and have after-school activities, it's easy for the evening meal to become an "every man for himself" event. More and more research shows that families who eat together are healthier , both physically and mentally. As Hubbard says, "family meal time has somehow become an enigma rather than the norm. How this has evolved is not clear, but numerous studies have shown that children who eat family meals have more academic success in school, have less attention and behavior problems, have less drug and alcohol use and definitely have better table manners.
Families who eat together are also thinner and have reduced risk for eating disorders. So as much as is possible, try to have sit-down meals together, talking about the good and bad points in your day, and just being together. Pediatrician Jim Sears, co-host of the television show The Doctors , calls stocking the cabinets with junk food one of the most common mistakes we make. Depriving kids of nutritious food and making them overweight is a sure way to mess up kids.
If it's sitting in the fridge Even worse: your kids will see it and grow up thinking that you are supposed to have junk food in stock all the time. Having junk food around the house should be the exception, not the rule," Sears says. If you want to replace the junk food with healthier options, try doing it gradually your kids might rebel if you do it all at once.
Though it's tempting to hop in the car to make a quick run to the grocery story, Sears' second piece of advice to families is to opt for activity whenever you can. What I mean is that your family chooses being active whenever possible. You ride bikes or walk to school. You walk to the park, post office, coffee shop You can walk a few blocks from your office to grab lunch, and take the stairs. Sure, sitting may be a part of your job, but if you look for any excuse to move, and to get your family moving, you will all be much healthier and have better job or school performance.
Let your kids think that being active is normal. Your kids may moan and groan now when you tell them the movie is out, but a day hike with picnic is in, but these habits will stay with them in the years to come. Not only will they make your kids healthier as they age, research keeps coming in that suggests the more active we stay, the more we reduce our risk for obesity, heart disease , diabetes, cognitive decline, and even early death , but presumably they'll pass this healthy lifestyle down onto their own children as well.
We're all aware of the impact that our parenting has on our children. But sometimes it's easy to push that idea to the extreme, and feel that everything you do will have a make-or-break impact on your child's success. If you can't get him into the best elementary school, what will become of his academic aspirations? If you don't find the perfect balance between discipline and easygoingness how will this affect his development? Is the fact that he pushed a kid on the playground today because you let him see a violent cartoon? If your child has a great day in Little League, don't assume your coaching was the reason.
Becoming a guilt-ridden and intense parent is one sure way to mess up your kids.
Hans Steiner, professor emeritus of child psychiatry at Stanford University, cautions parents not to assume sole responsibility for their child's issues. There are many other factors in his life besides you, which will affect his personality and development: genes, other family members, school, friends, and so on. So when things go wrong, don't beat yourself up, since it is very likely not you and you alone that led to the problem.
On the flip side, says Steiner, don't assume that you have no role in your child's development. Some people may operate from the assumption that a child's successes and problems are mainly due to genes, or the teachers at school, rather than you. Both extremes are just that: extremes. Like so many aspects of parenting, there is a balance.
You are important in your child's life, but you're not the only factor. You're reading this to learn some parenting disasters and tips.
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But as stated earlier, one-size-fits-all parenting is unrealistic, since children's personalities vary so greatly. My 14 year old kids is a big fan of roblox. Also most of the time if someone is saying bad things they are just kids getting angry because they lost in a game or something like that, so they aren't a big threat at all.
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Also there might be games which might seem to violent or younger kids. For example: phantom forces, a some-what popular first person shooter. But you have to know that games like those are targeted for older kids who play the game and for those who just like first person shooter games. Overall, I think Roblox is acceptional for ages between , just as long as you have a lot of knowledge on online safety. Roblox is genuinely a very fun platform- there's games for everybody, from FPS creations galore to games where you competitively doodle or survive as animals.
There's a game for everything on Roblox, which makes it excellent for kids- they can spend hours on it and won't get bored. But, it is important to make them aware and teach them how to be safe. I've done my own explorations in very popular cringey games- such as Shyfoox games, and 'raise a baby' games. I have very rarely seen predators, and they're absolutely few and far between.
Still, child safety is important and as I just mentioned, it's essential to every parent to teach their kids how to be safe online. It's good to discuss that while other players may have money and builder's club, and more clothes and items, it doesn't subtract from the good person your child is. Overall, Roblox is a good game, with the same risks as every single other online game on the internet.
The only thing I advise should be required to play is a discussion with your children, and directing them to the good games! Ludicrouscunningfox's works are excellent, and Era of Terror is a super fun dinosaur game. Encourage your kids to explore outside the mainstream but don't forget to teach them to recognize scams and find what they really like instead of just playing everything on the boring front page. Roblox's filter is super good, I can't even swear on it without getting frustrated.
I can't swear at all, in fact, and it's a hassle to get past the filter. Roblox is roblox. Ban your child. My son has been playing for about a year now, and we only use it with the privacy restrictions for an under account. He's fairly responsible, so he knows I'm keeping an eye on him and he's pretty good if something pops up that is questionable. I think, like anything else, it has its risks and being informed and proactive is a big piece of the puzzle. Thanks for the extra insight. Thank you for the helpful information. Thanks for this article!
I'll keep it in mind if I ever want to use Roblox. As a fan of Roblox, I've been on Roblox for awhile and here are some tips: 1. Stay away from Club and Adopt and Raise a Baby games. These games are common places for acts like ODing which isn't as bad as people say it is, but be watchful of it Adopt and Raise a Baby games often have admin commands as a gamepass, which are usually used to TROLL Fun Trivia Bit: That news story that's recently in the news about roblox?
The people who did "That" were trolls! Roblox's moderation system is not perfect at all. Keep in mind that millions upon millions of players including myself are on roblox a bunch so of course a lot of things get past the Roblox radar. Remember: there's a report option even tho the roblox staff doesn't do a good job at it due to the millions of reports There are a bunch of bots on roblox. They're everywhere! There's a option in the Options menu Looks like a cog under the Privacy settings That got added recently that says: "Who can chat with me in game?
Not every single Roblox Youtuber is kid friendly. I'd recommend someone like ThinkNoodles. Warning: he does play scary games like Baldi, but he puts warnings on those videos! I've been playing Roblox since Roblox has a good side, but it also has a dark side. I remember back in there were always those "S3X PARTY" games that would hit the front page then within half an hour they would be deleted thank god.
Those sort of games don't pop up as often now thankfully. So yeah roblox is safe if your child is old enough and mature enough to avoid pedos and creeps. Oh yeah, I remember. They get taken down real quickly, one report does it well. I agree with you, Miss Knorr.
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My dad has previously read an article about a mother and a daughter the daughter is the target and the daughter gets taken advantage of in some way. I asked him to show me the article but he said it was too inappropriate for even me to read, and I'm almost So yeah, danger.
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Try to keep your kids off of Roblox, or if they are older than 12 which is the age rating on the App Store let them play, but keep them off as much as you can. Good luck! Thanks so much for sharing your insights. Very helpful for the Common Sense community to hear first-person experiences like yours. My kids have been playing Roblox for a few years now. It has its good and bad aspects. Roblox gives them a safe play to be someone else for a while. I keep an eye on my kids' chats and can honestly say that sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for words getting censored.
In order to join certain games you have to be a member of a certain group and you have to pay Robux to join the group, or pay Robux for a rank, or pay Robux for certain privileges. While it's easy to tell my kids, "Just don't do that," after a while my kids notice that everyone else has privileges and ranks.
Several times now one of my kids has spent his hard-earned Robux for a rank or privilege, only to have that rank or privilege taken away for "breaking a rule" or "violating" something he didn't actually do wrong. Then, of course, there is no way to contact the game's owner directly, and if I complain to Roblox I'm told only to contact the game's owner which, as I said, there is no way to do. Recently my older child was in a "training" course for a game and said he had to go because it was dinner time, only to be told by the game admin that if he left now he'd be stripped of his hard-earned and paid for rank.
If you talk to your kids about not engaging with online bullies and remind them that paying for things isn't always going to work out the way they think it will, then I see no reason not to let your kids play Roblox -- with supervision, of course. My kids know by heart my rules for online gaming: never say your real name, never say your age or that you are a kid, never say where you live. I keep an eye on their chats. They've made some online friends they like playing games with and ultimately they have a good time in Roblox.
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