We tried reasoning with her. We tried defining safe and healthy boundaries. Nothing worked. We wondered if we were doing something wrong or maybe not doing enough things right.
We vacillated between feeling angry and feeling inadequate — between feeling impatient and simply feeling embarrassed. The truth is that we were not alone — I've since spoken with many parents who shared that their kids also made decisions they didn't agree with. Katie's rebellion played out in many situations, so I understand that a teen's resistance can be both hurtful and frightening for parents.
And because parents of "good kids" don't discuss the issue of rebellion, struggling parents often wrestle with embarrassment — and pain.
Should you stay together for the kids?
Once Gene and I acknowledged that Katie's rebellious attitude and actions would be our new normal, we knew we had to parent differently. If we were going to have a relationship with our daughter, we needed to adjust our parenting to focus on building relationship instead of simply enforcing rules. We couldn't throw the rules out, but our first priority had to be building a bridge to Katie that would transcend this difficult season of her life.
Here are a few "bricks" that helped us build that bridge. Perhaps they will help you as well:.
Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting (for Parents) - KidsHealth
Be the first to write a review About this product. All listings for this product Buy it now Buy it now. Any condition Any condition. See all 6. About this product Product Information With practical tips and relatable stories, Brenda shares how to model God's parenting style and explains the difference between the parent's responsibilities and the child's, then helps mom and dad discover ways to develop and nurture a relationship with their child that will last a lifetime.
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When Parents Disagree on Discipline: 8 Steps to Harmonious Parenting
Brenda Garrison is an enthusiastic and authentic speaker and author. She ministers to women in all stages of life but especially to moms-encouraging them by keeping it real and based on God's Word.
Brenda speaks at retreats, workshops, professional groups, and government agencies that work with families. Brenda and her husband, Gene, have three daughters. Show more Show less.
No ratings or reviews yet. When they are younger, do things with them such as making cakes, or include them in slightly odd activities, such as clearing out a shed and taking rubbish to the dump.
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Talk to them, listen to them, be interested. Give them slightly more responsibility than they are used to, so that coming to your home makes them feel more grown up.
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Similarly with teenagers. Treat them as adults and they find it hard not to respond. Be wary. If your dislike is based on something tangible and harmful, such as bullying, over-influencing or dangerous behaviours, you will have to do something, but approach with care. With a younger child who is being bossed or bullied by a so-called friend, try empathy and chat about what they can do, especially in their own home, to be in charge for a bit.
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Focus instead on building their confidence and developing other friendships alongside the one that troubles you. When it comes to peer pressure and drink, drugs and sex, keep talking, but shift the balance slightly, asking if they worry about friends indulging and what the outcome has been if they have. If that takes the conversation on to their own involvement, do not blame anyone else; be glad your teenager has confided and concentrate on helping them.
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