I knew it was something. So he had plenty of time to do what he wanted to do. Never asked how I was, if I am okay, nothing. But I have no choice but to pick up my own pieces and move on because he left me with no choice. He is worried about more his material things than me or our marriage. He ask me to hire someone to put his things in storage. He left me broke. I still love him but at the same time I have to learn to stand by myself.
I started loving my wife when I was We started dating at 17 and married at Im now She has always suffered from mental health issues and I have been there for her come hell or high water. I stopped 2 suicide attempts, had to commit her to hospitals until she got out of her dark spots. I have had to monitor her medication intake and times for years to ensure her safety on her request. We have a son who is just under 2 and was born 10 weeks early.
My wife started suffering from post partem depression around his first birthday and I have been watching her slowly recede into herself over the last 9 months. Still, up until a week ago, she said she loved me, loves being with me and having a family… etc. On Valentines day, she decided to tell me she doesnt love me and has in fact hated me for the last 15 years, though showed no signs of it. She moved out without telling me on Valentines day when I was at work. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. I believe it is due to her sickness as we were two peas in a pod for the last 19 years.
Now, she wont even speak to me as apparently Ive never helped her, or understood her sickness in her eyes.
Why divorce can be so difficult for teenage children | Life and style | The Guardian
I have now lost my wife, my best friend and my confidant. I still love her with all my heart but she continues to treat me worse and worse. I kiss a picture of us as a family every night, kiss the wedding rings she left and wish on a star for us as a family. She has not even called to see how our son is doing and its been 10 days. I have full custody at the moment of our son for his safety….
As of now, it has left me heartbroken. Ive taken 2 sessions of therapy now as I was so devastated and one thing I was told is that Im not alone. Reading these comments has made me feel less alone and I want to thank you all for sharing. Seems life will continue and I appreciate the hope you have instilled through sharing the stories you have all provided. Thank you all for being so brave, you have blazed a trail for me to follow.
It makes it easier to reach this point again. No-one can help you or tell you what to do, there are always going to be good and bad times in a relationship. My estranged husband wants a divorce after 23 years. Very true. The problem is you are supposed to be a team function as a team nothing else or anyone else matters. Grass is not always greener and a lot of times they are then in a new relatioship only to wakeup one day and find they feel exactly the same as they did in the previous relationship.
I am not saying you have to stay with someone who no longer is committed to the team in a very damaging way but the research shows people are throwing the towell in for very small reasons. Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. Take a step back look in the mirror. If you have everything but see nothing where does the problem lie.
Yes, It's Possible to Move On After A Divorce—Here Are Over 15 Tips to Help
Any of these reasons could be applied to either partner in a relationship. Wow great article. I can see people are very emotional and have missed that these are the top 5 reasons not the only reasons cos obviously the list could be very long if that were the case. It just goes to show that when people are emotional can become defensive and only understand whats written in their own way regardless of whats written, from reading some of the comments. But I enjoyed the article…. This information was compiled from divorced couples, or as it may seem, long-term relationships. Despite the length of a relationship, each partner must be committed to doing their share of the work, and communicating their own needs.
Keeping that balance would lessen the likelihood of the above 5 reasons, or other reasons like it being too much work, from occurring. Yes, I think many people skim the article missing some really relevant information. Thanks for your input. We fell apart in every way possible. Christy, you just summed up my life since December. I wish I had an answer for you. Just know you are not alone. How about being married to a Sociopath who hid his traits before marriage and afterwards used emotional, verbal and physical abuse to control you, who isolated you from family and gave nothing while taking everything.
I was left an emotional and physical wreck by this man who now controls our young adult children in the same manner and through manipulation, self pity and denouncing me to them, he tries to make them dislike and disrespect me. Young women — make sure you know all about a man before you commit because those few less desirable traits you have some doubts about may end up becoming major aspects of his character.
All part of the manipulation. He us definitely a narcissist. Great resource for those hurting, and I mean real hurting. This menopause matter is not funny. We share same breathe. We both came from dust and we shall return to dust. Nothing has meaning. So I do understand what I am going through and why. And who are the casualties in all this? Persistent denials coupled with ego aggravates everything. Then we blame. Then we irretrievably hate. Then evil sets in. Before you know it the entire family is wiped out.
Terrific article, and do agree as my special area is helping couples reignite that passion, trust, desire. Both knows the situation, though the comfort factor, causes them to remain in this loop until something shakes it up. What would people do in my situation. Been married 30 years.
Wonderful husband. We both work but I always brought home more income. I worker steady nights for 27 years. He worked days. He has always been a terrific father. I could never disapline them. He would always say. They are just girls. They are fine. Thank god they all turned out well. College educated with jobs. But I always get the brunt of their problems I am the one that is mean and I was always the one to buy them all their desires. Like dressed hair nails etc for dances.
They would go to the same school dances. With only being a year apart. My husband from the time they were little. Would tell them I would rather be at work than at home knowing. Damn well I was paying half of the bills if not more. I have spoke with him hundreds of times about sticking together when problems would arise with the girls. And at the time he would be like.
Yes I will stick with you and let the girls know they are unfair and mean in the way they treat me. But as soon as the girls are home. Two still reside with us. He is back to. Ohh they are just girls. Leave them alone. I feel completely invisible in my own home. This has been going on for years. I do love my husband. But the ties are weakening and I feel like I am at my wits end. I never had empty nest for longer than 3 months and things were much better between my husband and I. But now that they reside with us again.
I feel invisible again. I do not know what to do. I still work full time. Go out with my friends. But most of the time do not want to come home. I have no respect. That word has been gone for a long time. And our fights now revolve around not having sex. I can not have sex with s man who lets his children disrespect me and think everything is alright. We have talked about this more than I can count. And he just does not get it. Any suggestions please. Mental illness in a spouse requires a whole other article which I will write.
I have always asked my clients who find themselves married to someone who is mentally ill to focus on how they can avoid choosing another partner with the same issues. Falling out of love in a marriage happens over time and is usually due to neglect on the part of one or both partners.
Try not to take this too personally, but be sure to address your own accountability as well. So how do you know that a mental illness is there? I think on diffrent levels most of us suffer with anxiety, depression. Most of these illnesses stem from abandonment rejection abuse maybe we should go back to asylums. Very nice article, great to help people move on to enjoy the rest of their lives, your kindness shows through, thank you for writing it. May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us.
of a Traveling Nun
I have been with my love for 18 years and married him by church back on , 10 days ago left me for his high school sweetheart. She was a part of his life in the past but my kids and I are his present and future. I am struggling in finding a way to deal with his departure as my love for him yearns and hurts at the same time. So sorry to hear this.. She is 39 and I am We have two girls 5 and 8. I was a stay Hm dad for 3 years and I think it caused the divorce. We signed the papers last week. She is looking for a new Hm and we are still all in the same house.
She makes way more money then I do and she also said I smothered her. I still love her since I said I do. One more thing.. And the house. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. And will try to stay her friend. It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. Dear Tim I wrote u because I feel your pain. I am 38 and my husband 52 walk out on me while I am work.
I dont make much but still slightly more than my husband and have been helping n financing for all. He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. What happened will always be reality for us and you will n shall strong and healthy for your children and yourself.
If you are Christian, pray for there be justice n conviction lay upon your wife heart n soul n she will come to realization her mistake as she will not receive happiness by doing wrong to others. Its the circle of life. You stay joyful in the midst of pain because your children will always be yours. Take care. I married my husband less then one year ago. He went to his family home and left me alone ignoring all my phone calls and messages.. We spoke a lot he told me he had met someone else but it meant nothing to him apparently. So I left him and came back to my house. On Wednesday I wanted to surprise him by going to see him.
He had a bmw car which I later found out was his gfs car…I think all his family know her and are aware that he loves her. I have never felt so humiliated in all my life. Does he love her more then me? I wish I could take the pain away! My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was We have been married for 4 years and together for 7.
A year ago I found out he had cheated on me and me wanting to be a good wife and loving him with all I am I took him back and worked on what he said made him do it. He is a good man and he does try his best but I can just not find to love him like a lover bit rather as a friend. I know I must choose what to do because living with this internal struggle is making me sick.
Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. I feel like having the high moral ground vindicates me but the article recommends not using it. I cannot forgive her even if I want to and I know I should what can I do in order to surpass this? I am aware that this is poisoning my heart and rationally speaking I know I must forgive. How can I do it? Any pointers or tips will be welcome. No point in keeping contact with me.
Hi l married my husband about 12yrs ago we had split for about 8yrs and just 3months he popped back in the picture. We talked and decided to give it another try things were great at first l felt like a queen. Life was great than soon after he started being very mean to me yelling at me calling me names hanging up on me and than not evan coming home for days at a time. I was like how can you be so mean to me? So it wasnt long after that he became violent.
I didnt understand it at all l would always tell him if you want to be with other people please jut let me know l do not wish to be a part of that. He would tell me no babe stop tripping and l really started thinking l was tripping. Since than we had a very bad fight only one day after my 40th birthday and l havent heard from him scence. So that l will never ever go back to him.
Can somebody please help????? Perhaps your husband has a personality disorder. I found out last year my husband has contemporary narcissistic personality disorder. He seems to be always angry at somebody or some thing. We have three kids together. Unlike bipolar or schizophrenia, a personality disorder is NOT a chemical imbalance! They CAN modify with proper treatment and overcome IF they are willing to work their treatment regime.
Best of luck to you… Oh, and get a support network around you to build yourself up. Build yourself back up. Trent Shelton on Facebook is a great motivational speaker. Above all…. There is a Creator of the Universe who cares about you and wishes nothing but the best for your life. Trust Him to emotionally get you through one set of footprints in the sand means He is carrying you thru this!!!
Thank you so much. I believe my husband has a similar condition. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. Please send me strength. I disagree with your statement about personality disorders. I have a personality disorder and I know from info I have from my psychiatrist, John Hopkins U and the Mayo Clinic to name a few that personality disorders do have a genetic component. That is the latest science.
I was born with mine. I am an alcoholic in recovery with almost 22 yrs of sobriety. I have had 15 yrs of therapy along with institutional treatment, CBT, outpatient care thousands of AA Meetings and lots of retreats. I have worked my butt off to be well. Just a few years ago, however, I was finally diagnosed with this awful personality disorder.
Specific treatment for this is very hard to get and expensive. My husband left me citing this as the only reason. I have not name called him once during the whole 6 weeks it took him to leave. I have remained respectful and kind throughout while going in the car to have my meltdowns. I sought crisis respite because I did not want to be around while he packed up happily to leave. He was my best friend for 16 yrs and it is killing me.
I liked the above article and I think some of all the factors entered into his leaving. But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. I believe I have behaved exemplary throughout and my heart is broken. I did everything I could to be a healthier partner. I have been married for 27 years and we dated for 4 years.
He has been gone for about six months now. We have tried marriage counciling but are in a state of wait and see. The councilor suggested that I pay a visit to my gynecologist to get things checked out. In doing that it was found that I needed a hysterectomy due to fibroid cyst were filling my uterus to the point that everthing else was pushed into my chest cavity!
Well I am two weeks over surgery and still at a wait and see state with my husband. I really am discouraged because the two councilors we have seen have only listened to my husband and not really me! We live in a rural area and funds are limited for different counciling but I feel he has walked out on me when things were at the worst and when I needed support the most. Any suggestions? After 5 years together my wife left me to be with another man. I was recently diagnosed with serious health issues that are beyond my control and hereditary. She waited till I came from work and met me at the door.
She had already quit her job and he was coming to get her. Stress has made things even worse. How can this possibly be dealt with? My husband of 5 yrs n partner of 8 yrs cheated. This is his second time. The first time was right after I had our first child. And this time the affair has bn going on for 10 months. I only found out because I found an email n so I emailed her. And she told me everything. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense.
He said he dnt wanna b wid her or even me right now. He needs space to find himself. I dnt no wat to do. Hi my husband has a habit, of being with me for about months , then takes off to do any and every thing for about two weeks. My wife and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5. She recently lost her father and she had hatred for her step mom not letting my wife have a relationship with her father. She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me. What can ido to ease her pain and stop from having a second divorce?
Thank you for your comment, Paul. You are also welcome to call us for assistance finding a therapist. We are in the office Monday through Friday from a. Pacific Time; our phone number is ext. We have two children together. We have always had a strong relationship, but I lost my job and she was just about to start college, I got another job with the government and was doing that while she was in school, yes because of this situation we did get behind finiancally.
I hurt my back at work and was off then went back she just finished college at this point, she got a job and then I found out I had a prostate problem, so I had a cathador in for a while and again was off work, at this point we were still getting things caught up. Then we just decided to move.
So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it. I questioned her about it and she denied it. A few days later she said she wanted a separtion all she said was she needed to find out who she was and what she wanted. I have 2 kids as well even. My wife of 14 total, 11 married just is done. Just have to keep moving forward. Good luck…to us both…we will be OK though. A few days ago out of the blue he said he wants to split up. He has gone to his friends to see if we can make it work. Rachel, you are the exact same age as me and my husband is the same age as yours.
My husband went away on a trip with a friend and came back depressed and unhappy with his life. At 42 they are prime examples of men going through Mid Life crisis. He is totally messed up in the head and most of the stuff he says contradicts itself one day to the next. Throughout this ordeal I have been understanding, not dramatic at all, calm and have not said much when he tries to engage me in a fight. This has seemed to stifle his attacks on me for being at fault for his unhappy life.
So far he has not moved out as he had planned and keeps changing his mind on a daily basis. My only piece of wisdom from this whole scenario is that I have a Christian faith and it has really been keeping me sane by praying. My experience has taught me that you can only rely on one person in this world to love you unconditionally and that is Jesus.
I hope that your marriage works out and you and your husband will be happy once again together. Thank you for your comment, Lorrie. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. This of course leaves the other partner blindsided and shocked. Unfortunately many people become dissatisfied in marriages even when there are no problems. This may have nothing to do with you so giving him some space and trying to be supportive for now might help.
Please seek help for yourself to support you through this process. I have been married for 4 years. My wife and I have a 2 year old son. I found out last week that she was in a relationship with another man for several months. She packed all of her things and moved in with her mother after I found out. She tells me she is not sure who she wants to be with. After learning about their relationship I still want to be with her.
Not only for our child but because I love her deeply. I dont feel like I can go on without her. I dont know how to handle this situation. Please help? Stay strong brotha. Please be strong think and focus on your self and that will then help you look after your self and be there for your child. You are not going to die. Your wife who is supposed to love you has been seeing another man no matter what the excuse this is not acceptable. Love has to be tough this is one reason no matter what you must not take her back.
This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. You deserve better. How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. I have seen these kinds of marriages turn around, but I have also seen many where the damage of trust is too great to overcome. Honor yourself and keep your integrity through this process. Hope this helps. I just want to leave and not hurt him to bad. On new years eve my fiance left thee house. The next day he told me that he did not want it to continue in a relationship with me.
We have a beautiful son together. He is 17 months. That we argue all the time and that things werent gona change. I work full time and take care of everything in the house. Meanwhile he wanted to go out with his friends after work and have few drinks. Then four months later he came back and I got preganant. Now 17 months later he leave us. I used to make more money than him and since I got laid off he changed towards me. I found a job making less money but I manage. I feel like he used me when I was making a lot and now that he has to provide he packs and leave. Just found out my husband of almost 9 years is cheating on me online with a gay person.
I feel so betrayed, devastated and its really painful to me. Theyve only been talking for weeks and he thinks he has fallen in love with this person. I cry all the time. I lost 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks. If your husband is gay, there will be no getting that love back. There are reasons homosexuals hide things like that from loved ones. What he really needs now is your understanding and support. You may still love him but being gay is not a choice. I will pray you find the strength to accept this and that you two can still have a good relationship even though it will not be romantic any longer.
My husband, who I have been with for 15 years and have two young children with left me in November Two blows in one go. He was determined. I promised to do anything. I still would. She had no ex or children and is at the age where perhaps she thought she was going to be left on the shelf. My youngest is only five. My eldest I am devastated. Our marriage had had its problems but we were so strong we had overcome everything.
Neither of us if ever been unfaithful so far as I know. The pain is unbelievable and I am only struggling from day to day.
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I feel that in order to keep him in our lives I must accept her too. He is talking of selling the family home. Can anyone offer any words of hope? Lou, I am truly sorry to hear that this happened to you. Please be strong. Be strong for yourself and for your kids. Words of advice… Get an emotional tool belt, of things that will help you get better.. I know the feeling… I feel so alone. Our self esteem is 0!! The same thing happened to me — after an argument a few days prior, my husband said it was over. We had some issues but always thought we would work them out.
He refused to go to counseling. This was mid January. I found out last Friday after him denying it over and over that he is having an affair. He says they have not had sex but it is an emotional affair — just as bad or worse! They are in love apparently and plan on living together and getting married down the road. She is married too and both of us have two small children. My youngest is 3 and my older son is 6.
This is making me absolutely sick. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. He has no emotion or seems to even care. My wife told me we had to go to artiste counseling. When when I questioned her parenting style her first son—my stepson grew up to be a narcacistic bully , she came back the next week, having already been to a divorce attorney and had already filed. I thought the point of counseling was to speak your mind. Keep your mouth closed at all times.
After 15 years she announced that we never should have gotten married. This is what she wants. My wife began threatening me with divorce over little things years ago. It happened so often I barely paid attention. The papers are signed. She has quite a few friends and is self reliant. She was the main person I talked to and let her manage things.
That really hurts. Same situation, married 18 years, 2 girls…. My husband of five years, 11years together came home from work, it had been a week since he works away from home and left me, one week before Christmas. In shock I could barely breath I was on the floor shaking and he did nothing. Its been five weeks and he put our house up for sale. He wants to separate all our assets already and wants all the momentos in our house. We did everything together, camping, hunting, fishing, holidays, and Netflix marathons of snuggling on the couch.
He called me on his way home that night and told me he loved me that day, then gone. How could he just walk out? My husband left me and I am wondering how you are feeling? Where are you at spiritually and mentally? My husband of 25 years is leaving me. We are both 60, we have a son of 23 and a daughter of 20 about to go to uni. He wants us to sell our home and buy two places. This will be hated financially. I work part time supporting in a school.
He wants to be there for me, still my bes friend and has so much respect for me. He is smitten and very sexually involved with this 40 something woman. He works with her and finds her intellectually stimulating. She is 49 and lives abroad and never married. He says he will still help me, do anything for me but we are friends not lovers which is true. Recently we tried to get this back but he does not find me attractive although I am slim, fit and look young for my age. I am in shock. How are you feeling today?
Is he moving out? Travelling back and forth abroad to see her. Every few weeks. Acting normal at home. Most days everything fine till either side of the visit. Still working. Health not good. I met my wife when I was 18 and she was She was a self harmer and naturally negative person yet strong willed, firey, smart, impulsive and absolutely gorgeous. Everything I am not!! Her dad used to financially bail her out and her mum often was overbearing and smothered her. I kept with it as I felt so lucky to know someone so unique and incredibly desirable. She seemed to be in conflict with herself yet on my level entirely.
I honestly thought she would grow up over the years or I could save her. About 8 years in we had a son forcing us to live with her parents on a temp basis a year!! We got a house then tried for another baby. Sadly we lost him which was devastating then two weeks later got married already planned then quickly found out we had a daughter on the way. I was in shock for months. Her behaviour to me changed and she became distant, rude and put me on the back burner. She kept calling me perfect for never putting a foot wrong and seemed to twist that to be a negative.
Her parents became yet more overpowering towards her and to my kids adding yet more stress. Anyway things bumbled along for about 2 years then her new best friend decided to came on to me which I thought was a joke at first as that sort of thing never happens to me my wife is the pretty one. One thing lead to another then we had sex. Something that was completely against my morals as human being. It was the worst 30mins of my life and it felt pressed and forced. I think we both used sex to cope with stress. I had also convinced myself that her and the neighbour had had sex rather than just touching.
We did relate and I changed as much as I could to make it work I thought she had too. Over the next 7 months she got a job with her dad of course and she kept going on about this guy friend at work. Last September she said we were over due to the fact of me cheating with her friend.
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Oddly she got over it then 2 months later had a breakdown. It was so scary. I felt guilty and blamed myself. So made loads of effort to make her life more enjoyable. She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with yet managed for 5 years previously. I said no to moving out because a I sole own the house and sole was paying the mortgage and B I thought her behaviour was erratic and odd for the months leading up to her moving out plus I was getting fed up of rolling over to her whims.
She then admitted to a 7 month emotional affair with this guy at work. Followed by admitting adultery in a surprising amount of detail think she was proud. It made me feel sick. I am now literally in a living hell. The kids are with her in the parents house. I take the kids every weekend. She has quit her job and spends the daytime in our house waiting for the kids to finish school and leaves before I get back leaving the house a tip. I pay for everything.
Her mum deals mostly with the kids from her side whilst she meets with her new guy spending weekends in hotels having great sex apparently whilst I am truly the single parent thinking about her having the great sex. She has of course admitted adultery yet refuses to accept this in the papers and has filled against me. I have become this weird doormat type character to her waiting on her every move.
I guess I still love her as pathetic as that sounds.
Not looking for any comments just felt a need to write that lot down. Sounds really immature when I look back over it now. I know it will all get better over time I just worry about how much damage this is doing to the kids. Recently, my wife left me. This is my 2nd failed marriage. This one has been definitely the hardest for me to deal with.
I was so in love and i realize it now that shes gone. Whats the toughest part is she just stopped communication totally. I realize this only after they no longer appear. I am in counseling 1x a week and just started a low dose of a antidepressant pill. Im in so much pain physically. I actually threw up all morning and had to stay home from work.
Reasons Partners Leave
Thank you for posting this article. I feel it to.. This is my second marriage and the pain is horrific.. I wish it on no one.. Praying for you Wayne as I hope you pray for me.. Miracles still happened.. I to feel this pain 2x divorcee. I hate myself and have become a hermit. My ex mistress got me arrested and the charges were dismissed by he stood by her as if I was wrong the judge agreed with me though I was telling the truth.
What happened? Why are you so hurt and feel this way? Please open up and share so others can help you. I love him so deeply its killing me inside. How he just had a change of heart with no care in the world. Hi I am going through this as we speak. We started to date and things moved along. He is divorced and has 2 young girls. His ex wife cheated and moved in with the girl she met. I guess they been talking about kids were emotions came back and he told me that not to hate him but he had to go cuz he want to be with his kids and I found text from her saying hi babe I miss you.
Me if I did nothing then to love him. I asked him to tell me the truth and he said he was confused that loved me but he also had feelings again for her. You could emagine how I felt like someone ripped my heart out. I started telling him how can you go back after every thing that I have been nothing but loyal to him. I have recently been told by my wife that she is divorcing me. I am totally devastated. We have been married 2 and a half years, and together for 4. We have a little girl of 3, and my two sons of 10 from my previous relationship. Until recently she was a loving stepmother to them.
When we met it was love from the off. Big time. Our problems began about 5 months ago. I noticed subtle differences in her towards me, emotionally. Slightly distant. Then a notable lack of interest. I realised then this was serious and we were in trouble. I have to try and stay strong for myself and my children but its so hard. She has also began lying, eg i found out she was seeing a counsellor, she said they were actually friends, but I have seen she has been paying her fees on her bank statements. Why she chose to lie about this i do not know, but she has been clearly hiding things from me for several months.
Part of me suspects my wife is one of the mentioned types who craves new love all the time. Part of me thinks shes simply selfish and refuses to work out our problems. Either way Im totally broken, unable to cope and cannot see a way ahead. Cant stop crying and hate being alone for even 1 hour. I am lost. My ex left me the day after Christmas. She totally cut me off and is seeing other people. I need some steps, a plan to follow. A plan to help me eat like a normal person and stop compulsively eating or dieting.
Resources on freedom from overeating, bulimia, compulsive eating, binge eating and anorexia. I felt like my situation was hopeless, when the so-called experts could not help and make things better. Same when my relationship hit rock bottom, all the things I read online were conflicting and confusing when it came to becoming close again. Because it frustrated me so much, hearing from men and women who had spent their time, energy and efforts getting help only to find out that the help, was not in fact helpful. Using examples of case studies and my own experience on how I managed to turn things around.
That is what this article is about here are 4 main myths relationship advice that do not help when it comes to saving a marriage and dealing with threats of divorce. This is relationship advice you do not want to take if your husband or wife has said the marriage is over, they love you but are not in love with you, they want a separation or divorce. Talking will do nothing if there is no connection. Critical here is understanding what is the mindset of your spouse right now. If they have withdrawn from you or asked for a separation or threatened divorce, the standard relationship advice tips will not help.
That is why when I work with men and women to turn things around quickly and get that second chance. I ask them to share with me exactly what their husband or wife has been saying so we can then address their concerns and save the marriage. I have helped many husbands to save their marriage when their wife said nothing will change their mind and who refused to go marriage counselling.
I have also supported women to ruin their husbands affair and change the nature of the relationship and closeness single-handedly. Or learn the relationship techniques and tools for yourself so they can join you when they are ready. One person being more motivated than the other in a relationship to save it is normal. In fact it is rare for two people in a relationship to feel the same amount of love and passion at exactly the same time.
The difference between a husband and wife when a marriage is close to being over is often that one has lost hope and the other still is hopeful. The person with hope tries to convince them that there is hope and that their feelings are wrong. As no one wants to hear their feelings are wrong, they push their husband or wife further away. Are you with me? Therefore, if one person instead of trying to talk their partner into changing their feelings, begins a structured program to fix it, that offers hope.
Where they transmit a vibe of positive hope through their actions. They stand a great chance of inspiring their husband or wife to consider that possibility also. The first thing I do is help by supporting them to save their marriage by injecting it with authentic positivity. We devise actions they can take that little by little will allow their wife or husband to see them differently. As they begin to see them differently their feelings will change. If a marital separation has been asked for then it is pointless talking about how you will change, how things can be different in the future.